A New Chapter

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It’s been quite some time since the last time I posted anything on my blog. So, I’m not sure where to start or what to write for the matter. So, I guess I’ll start with the big news:

I graduated from college! 

That took a while to finally sink in, to be honest! I’m a responsible adult now, with commitments and responsibilities and all that. Can you believe it? I won’t be pulling anymore all nighters or worrying about grades! No more research papers! No more staying in uni till midnight to finish a project! No more 7 hours studio! No more studying during breaks! No more fighting over courses! No more walking around like zombies …. No more classes!

Anyway…

To be completely frank with you, a few months back, just the idea of actually graduating freaked the hell out me. My mind was clouded with fear of what would come after? what if I couldn’t find a job? what if this and what if that..

Now however, I find myself excited and determined to grow everyday and become the best version of myself. The day I walked down the stage to receive my diploma, I knew deep down that this new chapter would be the scariest and the toughest, yet also the most exciting one! I knew that this is the time to finally let go and push myself beyond my comfort zone.

So, I have a list of goals in mind that I will achieve by the end of this year (hopefully):

ehem…

  • I will give it my all and word hard every day to enhance my career and double my achievements.
  • I will create a balance in my life and make every day count.
  • I will let go of all the fears and irrational worries that held me back for years.
  • I will get out of my comfort zone (by force).
  • I will grow with each and every day.
  • I will apply these goals for the rest of my life.

 

** Stay tuned for another list in 2018. That’s it for now, unless I remember anything else lol.

 

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Anxiety: My Greatest Teacher

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Everyone experiences a certain level of anxiety and I’m no different. I’m not going to say that my journey with anxiety has been a constant “anguish,”  for I believe that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my best friend- Anxiety.

Only a year ago I viewed anxiety as a nasty obstacle that I must overcome and find a way to get rid off because of its constant interference in my life and happiness. It was overwhelming, devastating, and honestly quite annoying since it kept me up at night. For a while, I thought I might just go mad with the whole overthinking/overanalyzing everything! But that’s all in the past now…

So, what changed?

So, one day I was just chatting with random people over the internet (ok, don’t judge) and I came across a certified psychotherapist. I started nagging about how much my anxiety bothered me and all that. That was the day when my entire perspective on anxiety changed honestly..

Anxiety is a double-edged sword, he said.

Everything in life is a double-edged sword and so is anxiety. Yes, my anxiety keeps me up at night; it makes me restless, anxious, and uncomfortable. However, my anxiety is the main reason I make it to class on time every morning. Its the reason I always give a 150% in everything I do. My anxiety is my motivator.
My anxiety allowed me to understand people around me. It taught me how to be stronger and helped me become positive and maintain a balance in my life. My anxiety allowed me to understand myself better. It allowed me to understand why I fear, why I worry, why I feel restless and so on. It allowed me to finally see that’s all about how I perceive things. I am the one who controls my thoughts and not the over way round. Its all in my head. Therefore, if I choose to dismiss something as insignificant, then it wouldn’t hold a greater value to me anymore. Easier said than done, right? But… I believe that we are much stronger than we know.

Its all about perception. If you look at anxiety only as a source of pain and irritation then you’ll make yourself miserable. Just accept that anxiety is a part of being human.

Don’t allow your thoughts to takeover your life. Its you who is in control, its your mind, your thoughts, and your choice. So, take a deep breath, relax, have a positive outlook, and reclaim control over your life.

“Rule your mind or it will rule you.”
-Buddha